Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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