it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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