for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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