You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
