What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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