I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
