so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
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The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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