I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
