I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
