I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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