Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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