Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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