sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
