i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
