Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
my poor anus
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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