Your dad touched me again.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
