There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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