some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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