he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
