I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
