My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
