make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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