Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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