Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize