I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
