So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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