I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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