Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
