It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.