I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have tasted many bathrooms
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
