youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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