We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
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She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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