That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
That was before I lit my hair on fire
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
