What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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