mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
