You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
