seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
