I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
