i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The air was thick with penises
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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