i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
