Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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