But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
