hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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