I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The air taste purple.
Randomize
