The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
