so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
