What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
