i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
