and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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