I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am full of burrito and curiosity
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm too high and old for this...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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