don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
