Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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