Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
