the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
