There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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