I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
