i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
