forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize