I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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