I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
